Isolophobia
by silver-sunn101
Summary: Sequel to Acrophobia. DMHP SLASH! Draco handles his father's imprisonment different than expected. Character death. Part 2 of 4 in the 'Phobia' series.
1. Concede

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**A/n–** Here's the sequel to Acrophobia! You don't need to read that one to understand this one, but it would help. Slash is present, this is your warning. Why there needs to be a warning, I don't know, but that was it. Enjoy.

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Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.

* * *

It was the first game of the year: Slytherin vs. Gryffindor.

They were already four hours into the game. Their peers had cheered themselves hoarse; the commentator (Justin Finch-Fletchley) was only talking when someone scored, got hit with something (or someone), or fell off of their broom; and people were talking lazily in the stands.

The game, apparently, was no longer their main concern. Pansy Parkinson was painting her nails a horrid hot pink, Lavendar and Parvati were braiding Padma's hair, Seamus was in a rock-paper-scissors contest with Blaise Zabini from Slytherin, Hermione was reading and Neville was asleep and snoring on her shoulder.

High above the other students Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were desperately searching for the golden snitch so that they could finish the game.

Draco saw the glitter of gold first and pulled his broom into a steep dive. No sooner had he done that did Harry imitate him. They were closing in on the snitch. Draco knew it. Harry knew it.

Draco would get the snitch this time.

He could imagine it now: the Slytherin's cheering, the looks of hatred on the Gryffindor's faces, a look of approval on his godfather's face, and his father wouldn't...

His father wouldn't be there.

The only reason he was flying was for his father. The man wasn't even here to see him win.

Draco stopped as his fingers brushed the fine wings of the snitch. In the split-second he second-guessed himself, Harry had caught the snitch and the other three houses were now in an uproar. He sat there in a stupor and stared down at his hands. His teammates were swearing at him, but he paid no attention.

Draco flew to the ground and walked off the pitch without a word to anyone. He had a nice walk, with no interruptions, until he reached the stairs to the dungeons.

"Malfoy!"

A shout with no venom in a familiar voice. A request to stop walking. He stopped and kept his back to the other person. "Yes?" he asked once they had caught up.

"You had it, we both knew it... Why didn't you catch the snitch?"

He turned around and looked into the green eyes. Something new was there. Concern? Not likely. Hate? No, that wouldn't be anything new. Confusion? Probably.

"What if I never wanted to catch the snitch Potter?" he should be asking himself that question.

There was no venom in his voice either. This was certainly new. Maybe Severus would start passing out candy? Not likely... unless it was filled with acid. That could be fun...

Draco walked into the dungeons without another word.

* * *

A shiny new broom. Sunshine. A rainbow. Cold grey eyes. A dissatisfied scowl. Soaring up, up, up. A small bear safe against him. Cold hands. Bear gone. Loud yells. Diving down, down, down. Safe again in his arms. Falling again. Ground hurts. Tears ongrass. Yells above him. A slap. Footsteps. Alone. A gentle nudge. White. Warm. Pain as he stands. Stairs of stone. Bear hidden. Time for sleep. White, warm in his arms.

Blood and fur the next morning.

* * *

Draco woke soaked in sweat. Dreams–no, nightmares–from his childhood kept him from decent sleep. He put on a robe and slippers and silently made his way to the Astronomy Tower. He sat on "his" windowsill in a daze until morning came.

A fortnight later he opened the door to the Astronomy Tower–only to find someone else on his windowsill. They locked eyes but exchanged no words. Draco moved towards the ledge and the other boy drew his legs to his chest to leave him room. An offering of peace. Or a truce at the very least.

He rested his back against the other frame of the window. They sat in a comfortable silence the rest of the night. And the two after that. On the next night Draco looked over at him.

"Why are you here?"

An odd look.

"I couldn't sleep... and you?"

"I couldn't either,"

He hesitated, "Why not?"

Draco looked at him carefully. "Bad memories," he said simply. "What about you Potter?"

A sigh. "Nightmares,"

No more words were exchanged that night. Harry didn't show up for the next one.

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**A/n–** If the middle part is confusing, please go to my profile and read the prequel Acrophobia. The middle part was a nightmare, in case you couldn't tell.

**Please Review!**

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	2. Perplex

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They were let out early today for the party in the Great Hall. Decorations still had to be put up, food prepared, and last-minute costumes made. Draco didn't intend to make an appearance. What would be the use? To stand in the corner of the room, alone, and drink spiked punch? He could do that just fine on his own. No holiday needed. 

He walked out of the Great Hall, past a large jack-o-lantern. The nippy autumn wind bit at his skin and the leaves blew in spirals around him. He spotted Harry against a tree by the lake. Draco took a seat next to him.

"You aren't at the party Potter,"

"Neither are you,"

"I have no one to enjoy it with," They didn't look at each other. The lake was seemingly more interesting.

"Are your house mates still sore with you?"

"Yes... that's why I've quit the team," Harry looked at him.

"You quit because they're mad at you?" he asked incredulously.

Draco sighed, "That's partly it. The... the only reason I've ever flown is because my father told me to," It'd be all right to tell Potter a little bit. Show his human side for once. Besides, with Potter's damned loyalty, who would he tell? "This is just an excuse that I could say aloud,"

"So... you never wanted to fly?"

"No... truth be told, I'm scared of heights," the confession came quietly. Harry looked at him quizzically for a moment, but he didn't meet the gaze. After a moment, Harry nodded and looked back to the lake.

"I'm afraid to be alone," That's an understandable fear, Draco thought. He had that one also. But Harry has more friends and mentors than he could want. So many so that he could probably share with someone. How did he figure that he would ever be alone? Maybe Draco misunderstood the statement . . .

"But you're always off on your own,"

"I know," Harry stood and brushed himself off. "See you around, Malfoy,"

Draco watched Harry walk back into the castle. _That was one confusing young man who just walked away_, he thought.

* * *

His peers were chatting lightheartedly as the large group of seventh years walked to Hogsmeade. The frost-covered grass and dry leaves crunched under his feet as he walked. Draco broke off from everyone else once they were in the outskirts of the small town. He walked over to a building with peeling paint, and a sign that read '_Jewelry_,' but was missing the first 'e' and the 'y' was half-off. 

A bell jingled merrily overhead as he walked in. A musky incense filled his nose at once. It made him dizzy and a little queasy. It clouded the thinking part of his mind. Kind of like the incense in the Trelawney's room did. There was no one behind the counter, but that didn't worry him. Draco's silver eyes scanned the dusty racks of jewelry. The products themselves were polished, but as for the rest of the store...

Draco had been taught since his first trip to a store not to touch anything that he didn't intend to buy. He didn't lift his hands to feel the silver necklaces. As well, he showed absolutely no interest in him, lest some pesky storekeeper tried to talk him into something. But that one necklace in the back... the small oval-cut emerald, no bigger than his thumbnail,hanging from a thick silver chain. It was beautiful. It reminded him of something, or someone, but the aroma in the place was driving his mind crazy. There was a tag attached to it. It was handwritten. Draco wondered what it said.

"It's an energy necklace," said a croaky voice in his ear. It took all the restraint he had not to jump. He raised an eyebrow.

"Ah... How does it work?" Perfect, Draco, show no interest. Daddy would be proud, he thought wryly. He almost laughed.

The small lady limped up next to him. Her hair was a mousy, gray mess on the top of her head. She was at least a foot shorter than Draco.

"You grasp onto the emerald–like this–and focus on it, and it alone. You can use it to magnify your magic, or to heal yourself. But just brushing by it or accidentally touching it won't give you energy,"

Draco reached out his hand and took the necklace from her. Well, that did it, he'd have to buy it now. He studied the tag. It said what the woman had already told him. Draco still couldn't get over the fact that the necklace had caught his attention. The other things in the store just weren't the same.

"I'll take it,"

"Good," Draco shuddered. That atrocious voice!

She took the necklace back from him gently. He followed her to the cluttered little counter by the door. Why was he buying that necklace? He really couldn't say. It wasn't as if he hadn't boughten things on impulse before. And Lord knows he had the money for it. But why? She had asked him a question... he blinked.

"Pardon?"

"Do you want it wrapped, dear? For the lovely girl I'm sure will be receiving this for a present come Christmas time," she gave him a wink. Draco held back another shudder. Yes, a girl this Christmas. The thought itself was laughable. He didn't dwell on it.

"Sure, wrap it," he was lost to his hazy, incense-induced thoughts while she wrapped the present. Red wrapping paper. Lovely. How Gryffindor.

He paid her and left the store. Her voice was making the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stand on end. Draco turned the corner to go back to the school and ran straight into someone. They were both thrown to the frosty ground. Draco stood and brushed himself off. He checked his pocket and found that the little package was still safe.

He looked down at the ground and almost smirked at the boy he had knocked over. He stooped down and picked up a pair of glasses that had fallen from the force of the collision. Draco held his other hand out to help up Harry, who accepted it.

"Lose your glasses Potter?"

"Looks like it," he mumbled. Draco placed them in Harry's hand. Their fingertips brushed. Draco shuddered again. Harry put his glasses back on and blinked as the world came back into focus. "Thanks Malfoy,"

"No problem... which direction are you headed?" he asked. Again, he showed no interest. Harry wasn't something in a store that he could buy, but the habit stuck with Draco.

Harry looked back the direction he had come from. Hermione and Ron were walking into a store, their hands clasped tightly. It seemed to Draco that they didn't even notice Harry's absence. "Away from them,"

"They annoying you?" Draco asked.

"Ignoring me is more like it... They suggest a 'friendly day in Hogsmeade, just the three of us' and they end up snogging for fifteen minutes on a bench," Draco snorted in laughter. Harry glared at him half- heartedly. Draco shrugged as if to say '_what else did you expect from me?_'

"Which way are you going?"

Draco looked both ways, then shrugged. "Pick a direction."

For everyone reading between the lines: _Tell me which way we are going._

"The school,"

He nodded, "Mind if I walk with you?"

Harry raised an eyebrow, "First you knock me to the ground and then you expect me to let you walk with me?" Draco heard the sarcasm quite clearly. It takes a sarcastic person to know one.

"Well if you don't want me to..."

Harry interrupted him with a laugh. "Come on Malfoy,"

They walked in a comfortable silence along the path to Hogwarts. A snowy white owl Draco didn't recognize flew toward them, and landed on Harry's shoulder. Harry stopped to relieve her of her burden and Draco stopped also. Harry opened the letter and started reading. Draco respectedHarry's privacy and didn't look over his shoulder. Instead, he watched the owl. After a few moments she got up and flew onto his shoulder. Draco stroked her feathers absentmindedly. The white feathers reminded him of that cat he had owned once...

Harry sighed and put the letter into his pocket. He looked up at Draco and Hedwig. "She likes you,"

Draco nodded, "Yeah... yeah, she does..." he was still out of it. The incense was gone, sure, but his memories were as good a distraction as anything. He convinced the owl to fly off again. "What's her name?" Draco asked. They had started walking again.

"Hedwig,"

"I've heard that name somewhere before..."

"I found it in _A History of Magic_," Draco made a noise of acknowledgment and nothing more. Harry looked at him oddly. "Malfoy, do you have a pet?"

Draco swallowed, "No,"

"Have you ever had one?"

He nodded, "When I was younger, a kitten..."

"What happened to her?" Harry asked quietly. Draco could have cursed him then and there. Leave it to Harry to ask the questions that Draco didn't want voiced.

"She-she died..." Harry made a noise, as if to say '_well I knew that part,_' but he said nothing else. Draco continued. "She was white, and I hadn't named her yet. I was only six when she found me, and she died the next day,"

"How did she die?" Harry whispered it this time.

Draco's hands had found their way to his arms somehow. They were making an X across his chest. "My father killed her. Said the only pet a Malfoy could have would be an owl,"

"...Did you get an owl after that?"

"No... they won't come near me, they never have–until today. Your owl is the first to come near me," he said in a confused voice. "It's almost ironic,"

Harry nodded, "It is ironic." They walked in silence until they were in the castle. They were about to part, without saying another word, when Harry stopped him. "Hey Malfoy!"

Draco turned to him, "Yes?"

"Do... do cats still like you?"

"...I really don't know. I haven't gone near another one since that day,"

Harry nodded, "Thanks. Bye Malfoy," he walked up a staircase to Draco's left.

"Bye Potter," he mumbled. Harry had once again left a very confused Draco in his wake.

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**Please review!**

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	3. Compassion

* * *

He walked away from the noisy Christmas Eve party. Eavesdropping, it seems, is good for many things. Like figuring out from McGonagall and Lupin why Harry wasn't there laughing with everyone else. 

The cheery (and slightly out of tune) Christmas carols stopped abruptly when the doors closed. The moon reflected eerily on the snow. Draco shivered and pulled his cloak closer to his body. He spotted Harry beneath a tree, sitting on the snow. His knees were drawn to his chest and his glasses set off to the side. The palms of his hands were pressed into his eyes. To fight off tears, probably. Draco sat next to him.

"I heard what happened,"A whisper. The night was too fragile for anything more.

"So what? Come to make fun of me have you? Or to give me pity? I swear, the next person to pity me will find my wand up their–"

"To make fun of you at a time like this," Draco interrupted calmly, "would require cruelty even I do not possess. As for pity... I never have, and never will, pity you Potter,"

Harry nodded. A small feat when your hands are holding your head, Draco noted. He waited for Harry to speak. The wait wasn't long.

"Why him?" A question that really didn't need an answer. It's a good thing, since Draco didn't have one. Harry, however, did. "It's always the good who die young, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is... It's probably a good thing I don't have any 'good' friends." Perfect Draco. Distract Potter from his problems by focusing on yours.

"Why's that?"

"I don't get hurt as bad when they die. Very few people would cause me grief if they died. I could count them on one hand... But, I miss out on the things you take for granted. The freedom to laugh when I want. I can remember the last time I laughed; the morning of my sixth birthday. The last time I cried was the afternoon of the same day... I can't even talk to whomever I want. My father... my father has spies everywhere. If he even suspects that I don't want to be a Death Eater..." he trailed off. Harry would get the silent meaning. Harry looked at him. Draco still refused to look into the innocent green eyes.

"Do you want to be a Death Eater?"

Harry couldn't have known how complicated that seemingly simple question really was. In those eight words Draco's whole existence; his past, his present, his future and his beliefs were questioned.

"I don't know," he replied softly. Harry studied him for a few minutes, then put his head back into his hands and sighed. Draco tentatively put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"He was such a good person," Harry whispered. Draco could hear the tears in his voice. He wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders. "Why him? He had people who cared about him, he had a girlfriend! He had everything-" a sob, "-everything!"

Draco pulled Harry into his chest softly. He wasn't used to touching people. Having them touch him gently. Draco was surprised that he knew what to do. He moved his arm from Harry's shoulders to his waist and gently rubbed his back. His other hand was running through Harry's messy hair in a soothing manner. Draco couldn't hear what he was saying, but Harry was mumbling things about his friend through his sobs. He was murmuring comforting words into Harry's hair.

Slowly, Harry quieted down. Draco continued to run his fingers through Harry's hair while Harry caught his breath against Draco's chest. He quite liked touching someone for once, even if it was just Harry Potter. The only person he had for a parent now was his godfather, and the man wasn't too big on the touching thing either.

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. Draco stopped his hand and removed it from Harry's soft locks. They moved apart awkwardly.

"It's all right," Draco whispered.

Harry sniffed. "Then thank you," he wouldn't look up.

"You're welcome," They sat in an awkward silence. It was only broken by an occasional sniff from Harry. "Are you coming back in?" Harry shook his head.

"I don't want to see anyone yet,"

Draco nodded and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and felt the wrapped necklace that he had forgotten in there. Draco thought for a moment, then pulled the present out. He removed his warm cloak while trying to keep from dropping the little box. The freezing wind went through his clothes and seemingly straight to his bones, but he ignored it. He draped the coat around Harry's shoulders.

"Malfoy...?"

"We can't have the savior of the world freezing to death, now can we?" A light, teasing voice. Harry got it, he smiled. Draco put the package into Harry's fingers and closed them around the box.

"Happy Christmas Potter."

* * *

Draco woke the next morning to a small pile of presents. His mother had more or less forgotten about her son. While the year before she had sent Draco at least one letter a week, he had only gotten two this year, including his Christmas present. Draco suspected that she was seeing another person behind his father's back, but he shook the thought out if his head. 

A petite box wrapped in forest green paper caught his eye. He saved that one for last. It didn't take long until he was pulling the fine paper away. All it contained was a note:

_For your present, meet me in the entrance hall before breakfast._

There was no name on the bottom. Or anywhere on the wrapping paper either. The message, cryptic as it was, sparked Draco's curiosity and he hurried into the shower. He slowly started up the stairs from the dungeon that led into the entrance hall. He couldn't help it, his expectations were quite high. His stomach was in knots, and he had no explanation as to why.

When he reached the meeting place, he saw Harry standing against one of the stone walls. A bundle, Draco noted was the cloak he had lent him yesterday, was in Harry's arms. He stopped next to Harry, who looked up.

"I didn't think you'd come,"

"With a suggestive note like that, who wouldn't?"

Harry laughed. As he did, his burden slipped down. He hiked it back up, and then told Draco told hold out his arms. Draco felt his coat squirm in his arms. He looked at Harry.

"Look inside," Harry said softly. Draco pulled part of the coat away and saw a small, white kitten in his arms. He swallowed his dry tears.

"I... I couldn't–I mean–"

"She's yours,"

Draco locked his eyes with Harry's for the first time during one of their 'conversations.' He felt like he was looking through the other boy, into his soul. Harry's eyes showed his emotions in a way Draco's never could. Harry's eyes were filled with sorrow and sadness but at the same time laughter and felicity. At the moment, they were portraying complete trust.

The kitten rubbed her head under Draco's chin and purred. Draco closed his eyes and whispered, "Thank you,"

"Happy Christmas Malfoy," Harry replied quietly.

"Call me 'Draco'," he said, still in a whisper.

"Only if you call me 'Harry'," Draco simply nodded his agreement. Harry walked into the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Once he had composed himself, Draco followed him. He sat next to Severus, who raised an aristocratic eyebrow at the kitten.

"What is that?"

"It's a kitten professor. Honestly!" he heard a few people, Harry for one, stifle their laughs. The kitten clambered into Severus' lap. White cat hair stuck to the mans signature black robes almost instantly.

Remus Lupin (the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor) whispered to Harry, "Isn't that the cat we picked up in Diagon Alley last week?"

"Yeah, it is," Harry said simply. The tone in his voice ended the conversation. While Draco and Harry had busied themselves with the delicious food in front of them, Remus locked eyes with Severus, who had been watching the conversation. He raised an eyebrow and Severus shrugged.

In the moment Severus had taken his attention away from the feline in his lap it had tried to climb onto the table. Severus' plate was between the kitten and its destination, and he ended up with food covering him. The attention of the whole table was drawn to the potions master at the clatter and they were watching him apprehensively.

He looked over at Draco pointedly. Draco gathered the playful kitten back into his lap sheepishly. Harry locked eyes with Draco and gave him a secret wink.

* * *

Draco was sitting on a bench, waiting for the Hogwarts Express with everyone else. The kitten was bundled up in his lap. She was warm and asleep. He, on the other hand, was not warm. It was freezing out there! 

The train arrived slowly. Happy people got off. Talking and laughter were every where. Well, almost everywhere.

Harry had found Hermione, and he pulled her into a hug. She was crying into his shoulder while he mumbled words of comfort. He took the role that Draco had. Draco realized that he had seen Harry's weak side. A side that Hermione wasn't going to be seeing anytime soon.

Draco felt the need to be next to them. To help comfort Hermione. To do everything that they did. But he couldn't. It wasn't allowed. He was a Malfoy, wasn't he? Private conversations with Harry were one thing. But trying to become friends with Harry and Hermione on the Hogsmeade station? That was something entirely different. And it was cruel. It would be like trying to replace Ron. He couldn't do that. Draco knew it then. That he was an outsider, destined to be alone. Always alone. Unless he did something now.

* * *

**Please Review!**

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	4. Secure

* * *

**  
A/n- **I was all ready to post this and stuff, and I got a review from Lyonessheart, who was slightly confused with some stuff. So I'm gonna clear that confusion up! 1) No, Lucius is not dead. He's just in prison. 2) If you're confused on this one, I tell the person in this chapter. I don't tell what's happened to him until like two follow-up fics later.

* * *

People all around him were lazily relaxing in the warm sun. The first day of the year where it was warm enough for people to take off their jackets. He walked around them to a secluded little hill and found Harry lying on his stomach. He had taken his coat off and was using it to keep his clothes dry. Next to him was a small group of flowers that Draco didn't know the name of. 

Draco took off his coat and put it on the dew-covered grass next to Harry. He laid on his back, with his hands behind his head. He watched the fluffy clouds blow by.

"It's nice out today," Harry said. Draco made a noise of agreement. The kitten, who Draco had to lock in a room to keep her out of his classes, settled herself in a patch of sun between the boys. Harry put the flower down, and took off the necklace. He swung it absentmindedly like a pendulum from his hand. The cat's eyes followed the movement.

"Did you name her yet?"

"The kitten?"

"Yes,"

"Yeah, I did. Her name is Asa,"

"Asa?"

"It means 'morning' in Japanese,"

"Oh, all right... Nice name,"

"I thought so," he replied wryly. Asa pounced one the necklace and Harry laughed. Draco smiled and turned on his side to face them. "What's with the flowers?" Guilt settled into Draco's stomach as Harry's happy demeanor faded.

"Oh... I found them up on the hill over there," he gestured awkwardly to a higher hill, "and I remembered reading that zinnias stand for 'thoughts of absent friends'... I'm going to send them to Mrs. Weasley to put on Ron's grave..."

Now that Draco looked, he noted that there were three zinnias lying next to Harry. One had red petals with pink ones underneath and yellow 'stars' in the center of it. The second was orange petaled that shaded into pink towards the center, and it too had the 'stars'. The last one, however, was different. It had more petals than the other two, and was completely red. Draco liked that one the best.

"...I'd tell you to send my condolences, but I doubt that anyone would believe that I meant it..."

"I'm not sure that I believe it," Harry looked at him oddly as he said it. As if he was trying to look through Draco's eyes and into his soul. Draco tried to open his expression to Harry, to show him that he wasn't lying.

"...Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Lets say that... that I wanted to... fight against Him -- Voldemort... that I don't want to be a Death Eater," he had Harry's full attention now. "Who would I talk to?" He said the last parts very fast. Once he started, he wasn't sure that he could stop talking.

Harry thought for a moment. "I _would've_ said Dumbledore if you had asked me that a while ago, but I don't like him anymore..."

"I thought for the longest time that you idolized the man,"

"And I thought that you idolized your father,"

Draco swallowed. Harry's comment was like a whip. "Point made." Harry was silent again.

"Who would you trust... or, who would you normally go to with something important,"

Draco didn't have to think on the answer. "My godfather,"

"Who is he?"

"Professor Snape,"

An odd look came into Harry's eyes. "Perfect. Go tell him,"

"Are you sure? I mean, I thought that he was..."

Harry gave him a mysterious smile. He knew more than he was saying. "Go talk to him, Draco."

* * *

Draco followed Harry's advice. That advice led him deep into the very heart of Slytherin territory. It led him to a place three stories under the main floor. It led him to one very large oak door. He knocked on the door. A few very choice words were heard from inside. Draco smiled. His godfather would never change. 

"Coming!" he heard Severus yell. He heard the low sound of men talking. The door opened.

Draco smirked at Severus' disheveled appearance. His hair was ruffled and his face flushed. His robes had just been thrown on and Draco could see part of Severus' chest. One piece had a small bite mark on it that looked like a scar. Severus' eyes narrowed at the intruder, and then softened when he saw his godson.

"What is it Draco?" Draco managed to speak through his smirk.

"I have to talk to you Sev," An exasperated sigh.

"Can't it wait? I'm... in the middle of something,"

"I can see that," Severus glared.

"Wipe that goddamned smirk off of your face!" Draco laughed. It caught Severus off guard. Draco's lips formed a grin instead of a smirk.

"I don't think it can wait-" Severus opened his mouth to speak, "and no, I will not come back later... I really don't mind it if Professor Lupin is in on our talk," Eyebrows went up.

"Get in here then," he opened the door wider to allow Draco entrance.

Draco settled himself on a green armchair and waited. Severus had disappeared in his chambers. Draco could hear the voices of his professors. Remus came out looking as normal as always and sat across from him.

"Afternoon professor," Draco said merrily.

"Mr. Malfoy," Remus said with a nod of his head in his pupil's direction. Before Draco could tease Remus, Severus came into the room.

"Tea, Draco?" Draco nodded silently. The nerves in his stomach were acting up finally.

"Remus?"

"No thank you," he said in his quiet, polite voice. Draco wondered idly if the man ever spoke in a different tone of voice. They sat in silence while Severus made the tea. He handed Draco a cup, then sat next to Remus. They stared at Draco.

"Suppose I should start talking, eh?"

"That would be a smart idea," Severus said dryly. Draco nodded. He supposed that Severus was a bit upset that Draco had interrupted his 'something.' He looked down into his full cup. He gathered his thoughts. This was final. No going back Draco, he told himself.

"I don't want to be a Death Eater," Draco said bluntly. A stunned silence followed. Had he even said it aloud? Maybe they had died from the shock, he thought sarcastically. He looked up. Severus looked surprised and... proud? As for Remus... he didn't look the least bit surprised. Bloody loudmouthed Harry!

"How did you know to come to me with this?" Severus asked after a few minutes. "As far as you know I'm a loyal Death Eater,"

"Harry told me to come to you,"

"Did he now?" he turned to Remus. "You'd best tell him to watch who exactly he is passing out information to!"

"You needn't be angry Sev," he turned back to Draco, "Harry didn't tell me anything. As far as I know, you _are_ a loyal Death Eater. I told Harry that I may want to... switch sides, if you will, and I asked him who I should talk to. He asked who I would normally confide in, and I said you. He said that it was 'perfect'. I said that I thought you were a loyal Death Eater, but he insisted I see you. Now I'm here," he sipped at his tea while Remus and Severus processed that information.

"Why do you want to help us?" Remus asked, once again in his tranquil voice. How could any man be _that_ calm? Well, he supposed, anyone with Harry as his charge and Severus for a lover would need to have massive amounts of patience.

"I don't want to kill innocent people. I've seen families torn apart because of Death Eaters, and I don't want to cause that," Draco wanted to look away. He didn't. They needed to see his eyes. To see that he was telling the truth. He wouldn't be able to bear it if they thought he was lying. Draco drew a knee to his chest and set the teacup on the end table. "I don't want to kill the good people... And I want to stop the people who do... the people like my father," he spat the last words as if they were foul.

"Are you sure this isn't just to rebel against your father, Draco?" Severus asked. Draco shook his head.

"Rebelling against my father hardly had a place in my decision. But I will admit that I want revenge against him,"

"Revenge? For what?"

"For stealing my freedom," Draco sighed and gave into the temptation. He looked at the carpet. "For taking away my childhood and innocence before I had a say in it. For brainwashing me into thinking that I'm better than everyone else because I'm a Malfoy, which I know now isn't true," Remus and Severus sat with their separate thoughts for sometime. Whatever it is they were doing before was clearly not their main concern at the moment.

"Look up Draco," Severus said softly. Draco did as he was told. He was sure that he would be crying right now, if he could only remember how. "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes,"

Remus nodded as if that decided something for him. He took Severus' arm and led him to the other side of the room to talk privately. Draco could still hear them.

"I think we should let him join the Order after the end of the term,"

"Are you positive? It could be a mistake Severus. We can't afford any more mistakes." _Pettigrew_, Draco thought, _they're afraid I'll turn out to be another Pettigrew._

"Draco's heart is in this Remus, I can tell. I've known him since he was a baby; I was the third person to hold him. I watched Lucius suck the innocence of adolescence out of him. Through all of that, I've never seen him like this,"

"So you think that he really wants this?" Meaning: _Are you sure his father isn't trying to earn Voldemort a new spy in the Order?_ Severus understood.

"Does Draco strike you as the type to follow orders?" Remus shook his head. "Lucius raised him too well in certain areas. Now it has come back to bite him in the arse," Remus laughed lightly. Even his laugh was calm. The man confused Draco to great lengths.

"Very true Severus... But remember, if anything happens, it's on your head,"

"I know Remus, I know. But I'd bet my life on this,"

"You are,"

Draco caught the underlying message in this as well. If he turns out to be a spy, Severus will be to blame. Severus had complete faith in him. He'd 'bet his life on it.' In taking this risk, allowing the son of a prominent Death Eater to join them, Severus is risking his life. And everyone else's. Draco felt a surge of love for his godfather. The parent he never had. He wouldn't let Severus down.

They were sitting on the couch again. Remus was studying him.

"Do you have any other reasons for your decision, Draco?" Draco thought over his reply carefully. He spoke his answer in a whisper.

"To prove that I'm a good person,"

Severus' brow furrowed, "Who could you possibly want to prove that to?" he asked, pure confusion apparent in his voice.

Draco locked eyes with his godfather. "To you... To Professor Lupin... To Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. To my peers in the other houses... and to Harry," he closed his eyes and whispered, "I want to show Harry that I'm a good person,"

* * *

**A/n– **The explanation for the name of Draco's kitten. I did use the correct term (Learned in Japanese class. Any issues, consult my Japanese teacher!), but it's the stuff behind it that I wanted to get across. In the morning your day can go any direction. You can't really wake up and say "Today I'm not going to fall on my face and embarrass myself" because you can't control it. Draco's kitten is sort of a peace offering between the boys, and it represents that their relationship can go in any direction. Like a fresh, new morning! 

**Please Review!**

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	5. Adapt

**A/n–** I describe the weather in this chapter in great detail. Now, I'm not from any part of Europe (try the northern part of the U.S.), so I'm not familiar with how the weather there is. I don't think that it should be too much different...

* * *

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was already past his shoulders. Something had to be done. Something different. Something that would make his father think twice when he saw his son again. Something that would turn heads. Draco was thinking chin-length, if not shorter. Short enough to spike, maybe? 

Well, whatever he did, it would be his choice this time.

* * *

The lovely weather that they had been enjoying was now gone. At six-thirty a.m. the sun had already risen, but just high enough to color the sky pale blue and reflect off of the clouds to make them pale gray. Streaks of light periwinkle were spotted here and there. The wind was uncharacteristically cold for this time of year, and was violently shaking the tops of the trees. The lower layer of clouds were moving with the wind, but the top layer was stubbornly staying in place, in wait for the midday sun to drive it away. 

Draco was sitting atop a grassy hill that overlooked the grounds. It was early morning and he doubted that any other students were awake at this time. He used on hand to hold his hair out of his face. He had gotten it cut the day before and it was now about even with his lips. If his father saw him now he would freak. Draco thought of that with a smirk. The sky now had some purple and pink in it.

"You cut your hair," a voice said next to him. He looked over at Harry.

"Very good Potter. Five points to Gryffindor," he said. He gave Harry a smile to show that there was no ill-will intended. Harry returned the smile.

"So what brought this on?" he asked. Draco shrugged.

"Wanted to try something new, something different... wanted to drive my father crazy-" Harry laughed.

"That's better motivation than the other two. But really, I like it. It looks good,"

"Thanks," Draco said happily. Harry fell into silence and Draco followed. He closed his eyes and let go of his hair. Draco let the wind run across his scalp and blow his hair any way it wanted. He breathed in deeply and could smell the rain in the air.

Next to him, Harry laid on his back and was watching the clouds blow by. Draco could feel Harry's arm against his thigh. The friendly pressure comforted him somehow. He felt at peace. So much so that he laid down in the mossy grass also. Harry's head was now against Draco's arm. Draco was so at peace that he forgot about the classes he had to be headed to and fell asleep.

* * *

His eye twitched involuntarily as heavy raindrops hit it. He wiped at them, still in that place between asleep and awake. When he was completely soaked, and quiet cold, he willed his eyes open. Raindrops were falling on the side of his face and all around him. Draco tried to move his arm, but there was a weight on it. He closed his eyes and sighed. And now that he was more awake, he realized that this weight was a bit uncomfortable. Groggily, he opened his eyes again and this time looked down to see what was on his arm. He groaned. 

"Harry, get up!" he whispered. The rain drowned the sound out.

Draco was lying on his side with one arm (the asleep one) under Harry's waist, and the other arm on top of his waist. He used his free hand to shake Harry.

"Harry, you great git, get up!" Harry snuggled in closer to his chest. Draco sighed. "Harry..." he said it louder this time and Harry's eyes opened.

"Draco?" he asked sleepily. He groaned and buried his head against Draco's shoulder. Draco wished that he wouldn't do that.

"We're still outside, aren't we?"

"Yes."

"And we're on the ground."

"Yep."

"In the rain."

"Looks like it."

Harry groaned again. The sound drove Draco crazy. The blood rushed from his head and he felts as if his pants were shrinking a few sizes. His mouth was dry.

"Don't-" he swallowed. "don't do that again," Harry looked up at him.

"Do what?" Draco looked down to hide his blush. Surely Harry felt the effect that he was having on Draco? Draco was sure that every part of his body was pressed against Harry's. He fidgeted.

"Make that noise," Harry was quiet. He opened his mouth to say something as Draco fidgeted again.

"Oh! Ooh..." he said in realization. Those sounds didn't help Draco much either. "Why not?" He felt warm breath on his lips.

"Surely you know why," Draco said. His voice wavered slightly. He couldn't think straight.

"I don't think I do," Harry said innocently. His fingers were in Draco's hair. His voice alone was driving Draco nuts. He looked up. Harry was much closer than before. Draco threw his pride out the window.

"Then let me show you," he said. He closed the short distance between them and kissed Harry.

* * *

They snuck back into the castle hand-in-hand. Luckily, it was during class, so no one was milling around to see them. A trail of rainwater followed them. They were sure to be completely silent so that no teacher would hear them. Harry stopped them at a corner and peeked around it. Draco had to admit that Harry was a master at sneaking around. 

Harry pulled on his hand as they rounded another corner. He was leading Draco back down to the dungeons. Draco moved to follow him and slipped on the water on the stone floor. He crashed into Harry, sending them both to the ground. They laughed.

So much for being quiet.

Draco put his head on Harry's chest as he laughed. He had laughed more this day than ever before. And it felt good. He looked up at Harry, who had tears in his eyes from laughter. His cheeks were flushed, and his wet hair sticking up in every direction. He looked beautiful. Draco kissed his rose colored lips.

"Sorry," he whispered. Harry was still laughing quietly as he replied.

"That's all right."

Draco got off of Harry and helped him off the floor, using the stone wall for support. They were laughing quietly now. Though for the life of him, Draco couldn't figure out what was so funny. Their hands were clasped again as they walked. Harry felt that they didn't need to worry anymore, and didn't check the next corner. They turned around it, and ran straight into a very angry black-haired man. Draco released Harry's hand. Harry swallowed audibly.

"Where have you two been?" his voice was eerily calm. Anger was lying shortly from the surface of the voice. The worst kind of voice was a calm angry one, Draco decided at that moment.

"Outside," Draco said. His voice was submissive.

"Yes, yes, I can see that much... Do either of you have any idea how worried us professors have been? With both of you gone, you have no idea what sort of things were running through everyone's minds... Well? Explain yourselves!"

"We didn't mean to make people worry..." Harry whispered. "Remus will be so mad!"

"It's my fault Sev," Draco said. Harry looked at him. Draco silenced him with the look in his eyes. "I convinced Harry to stay outside with me... You know how much I like the rain, and I wanted to convince him that it's not bad." _Bad, bad lie Draco_, he told himself. _Very bad! Severus will see right through that one._

The potions master raised an eyebrow at them. At Draco's atypically messed up hair. At their too-red lips. At the small hickey on Harry's neck. They had been gone for three class periods!

"Indeed," he said dryly. He looked between the two of them, "You do know that I'm aware of your lie, don't you Draco?" Draco lowered his head, and nodded.

"Yes, sir."

Severus sighed. "Potter, go dry off and get to class," Harry nodded and left without another word. Severus stared at Draco for the longest time. Draco was starting to feel very self-conscious. And a bit guilty. A new emotion for the Malfoy. "Follow me Draco."

Obediently, Draco followed his godfather to his office. He sat down in a hard, straight-backed chair in front of his desk. _These chairs should be reserved for torture chambers_, Draco thought. Severus was studying him again. He was growing slightly irritated at being stared at so much.

"If you want to convince us that your intentions are good Draco, you must start behaving better. You know that they won't believe you if I don't at least believe you, and at the moment I'm having troubles believing that you have good objectives," That sentence sparked Draco's attention.

"Sev, you have to believe me that I want this. It's all I want, to prove to everyone that not all Malfoys are stuck up pricks who live their life to serve the Dark Lord. Who bribe and threaten people to get their own way. I don't want to go into a store and see the clerk cower in fear of me! It's not something I enjoy!" Draco stopped to breath. He closed his eyes to gather himself again.

"I spend one morning alone with Harry, and everyone thinks that I've kidnapped him or something!" Draco's throat was tight and he was having trouble speaking. He opened his eyes again, and looked straight into his godfather's onyx ones, "I can't even be friends with a good person without suspicions and rumors popping up all over the place, and quite frankly I'm tired of it!"

"Then stop being a prick in public Draco," Severus said calmly. "Be good. Stop making fun of the other houses. The next time I pair you up with Longbottom, help him make a correct potion. If a first year is lost, help them find where they should be. When someone drops something, pick it up for them. _Show_ everyone that you are good Draco. Then they will stop suspecting that you have ill-intents for their savior."

Draco nodded silently. He wouldn't do it though. He had to throw his father off as long as possible. Really, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he shows that he is nice, the Death Eaters catch on and his head- start on them is blown to pieces. But, on the other hand, if he keeps up his 'Malfoy appearance' then the Order members and the general public will keep up their impressions of him. And, in turn, he'll be forbidden to come near Harry, and probably prohibited from joining the Order. It was a lose-lose situation.

"I want to remain friends with Harry, Sev. He's helped me a great deal to change my mind about the prejudices I used to have,"

Severus nodded, "Your friendship is a good thing, but I advise you not to rely on him too much,"

"Why's that?"

"He's destined to save the world, Draco. His life is in the spotlight. If someone thinks you want to hurt him, they can hurt you to keep you away from him. There are plenty of people who wouldn't hesitate to harm you to keep you away from him. And, if you are attached to him and end up losing him, you'll be at a loss as to what to do next," Draco processed that advice for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"You sound as if you are speaking from experience," Severus got an odd look on his face. Draco couldn't place it. It was as if he was reliving hurtful memories, or a past heartbreak.

"Let's just say that I wouldn't want you to live the life that I have had... Now go get cleaned up. You're due in potions next class,"

Draco left the office and tried to collect his thoughts. It seemed that he was having trouble doing that a lot lately. There just wasn't enough time in the day to think over every problem in his life. For now, though, he had a few decisions to weigh out. Be nice to everyone, or stay the same? Push Harry away, or pull him closer, rely on him, deepen their bond?

Draco chose the last one on each. So he was purposely ignoring his godfather's advice. He'd done it before. Nothing bad had come from it. What could possibly go wrong this time?

Outside, the stormy blue clouds had blown to the horizon, exposing a light blue sky. The top layer of clouds had stayed put. They were like thin, like whispered memories of the fluffy clouds that had forgotten them. The warm mid-spring sun was drying Hogwarts' grounds. It was almost as if the storm hadn't been there that morning. The only sign of it was the wind that was still throwing the trees around in a bizarre dance.

* * *

**A/n–** Thanks to the following people for reviewing: Me, Touya Koori Teshi (_Nice guess at the end of chapter two_), William the Bloody, Quicksilver, Little Lion (_You wrote fine!_), eminem4eva, Lyonessheart (_Isn't Starbucks the best?_), and The Marauders Dragon (_I take the Japanese lessons in school. It's not a good thing that you cried, but I guess it's good that my work moves people... yeah, that was worded right! But who says that Lucius won't die?_)Thanks to the following people for reviewing: Me, Touya Koori Teshi (), William the Bloody, Quicksilver, Little Lion (), eminem4eva, Lyonessheart (), and The Marauders Dragon () 

**Please Review! **

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	6. Reassure

* * *

He looked past his Slytherin-green curtains into the night sky. His window was open, letting the warm early-summer night air into his room. It breathed down onto him softly, but it still didn't lull him into sleep. He felt that something was missing. Something he couldn't place. 

There was tentative knocking on the door to his room. The door that gave him access to his private Head Boy rooms. Draco sighed and pulled a shirt on before he left the bedroom to answer it. He was looked at his visitor in a slight shock.

"Harry? What's wrong? Why are you here at this time of the night?" he asked softly. He opened the door wider to allow Harry access to his rooms. Harry wasn't looking too well, in Draco's opinion. He had bags under his eyes. His eyes themselves were lined red and bloodshot. His skin was sweaty and pale and he was trembling.

"C-can I stay with you tonight?" he whispered. "Please?" The tone in his voice, combined with Harry's appearance, broke Draco's heart. He didn't like to see his love looking so helpless.

"Of course you can. Come on," Draco put his arm around Harry's waist to lead him into the bedroom. He lifted up the blankets for Harry, andHarry crawled in without question. Draco walked around the bed to the other side. He held Harry in his arms. "What's wrong?" he whispered. A small, shaky sigh escaped the other boy's lips.

"I-I feel so stupid... I had another nightmare and I thought that–maybe–sleeping with you would help me sleep better," Harry whispered. Draco could hear the fear in Harry's voice. He was afraid that Draco would push him away!

Draco hugged him tighter.

"That's not stupid Harry, it makes perfect sense... Do you want to tell me about it?" Harry nodded silently.

"At first, it was like looking in a pensive, you know? And then, I sort of fell in, and I was like an outsider in a memory. The memory was the night my parents died... Voldemort came, and he k-killed them. These ghost- looking figures came out of their bodies, looked straight at me and said '_If it wasn't for you, Harry, we'd still be alive_'... After that, the memory switched to something I'd never seen. The Dursleys, the family I stay with, were all killed by Voldemort and they became ghosts and said, '_If we hadn't taken you in, Harry, we'd still be alive_.' And then Cedric died, and his ghost said _'If I hadn't listened to you, Harry, I'd still be alive'_," Harry stopped and let out a small sob. Tears were already running down his cheeks.

"Then-then Sirius' fell behind the veil and I looked in, and his ghost was looking at me and said, '_If you weren't stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's trap, Harry, I'd still be alive._' And Ron appeared and said '_If I wasn't_ your _friend, Harry, I'd still be alive._' Everyonebecame ghosts and started saying that! Hermione, Remus, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Snape, and then you!" Harry sobbed harder. "You showed up human, not ghost-like, all bloodied and bruised and you said-you said '_If I hadn't fallen in love with you, Harry, I'd still be alive!'_"

Harry was crying severely by this point. So hard that Draco hardly made out the end of the nightmare. He ran his fingers through Harry's hair and made soothing noises. When Harry calmed enough, Draco looked him in the eye.

"That'll never happen Harry. I'd never blame you if I died. I've been the happiest I've ever been with you, and I wouldn't trade it for anything," he kissed away a tear on Harry's nose. "And it's because I love you, Harry." Harry looked a little shocked.

"I love you too Draco," he said softly. Draco kissed his slightly parted lips and when they pulled apart, Harry looked at him, "You know, no one's ever said that to me before,"

"Me either,"

Harry yawned quietly. He buried his head in Draco's chest. "I'm glad I got to share it with you, then,"

Draco ran his fingers through Harry's raven locks again. "Me too Harry, me too,"

He, too, fell asleep. He didn't even realize that he had found what he was missing. And that it was asleep in his arms.

* * *

Draco was walking to dinner in a fairly good mood. He was whistling part of _Carmen_ under his breath. Since everyone else was at dinner, Draco had an uninterrupted walk. That is, he had an uninterrupted walk until a random classroom door opened, a hand shot out, and he was drug into the room. 

"What do you think you are doing with Harry!" Draco calmed at the sight of the person. He had thought that it was someone bad. He sat on top of a dusty desk.

"Nothing," it came out more as a question than at statement.

"That's not what I was told," Hermione was glaring at him. Her hands rested on her hips.

"Well then, what _were_ you told?"

"I was told that you are romantically involved with him,"

"He told you!"

"Was he not supposed to?" she raised an eyebrow.

"No–I mean–we never decided–but–"

"That's what I thought!" Draco was silent. Hermione looked at him with a calculating gaze. "You can't love him, you know."

Draco swung his legs childishly. "Why can't I? Are you saying that it's forbidden or that I'm incapable of love?"

"A little of both," she said after a moment.

"I may agree with you on the first, but not on the second,"

"If it's so forbidden, then why do you do it?"

"I love him. It's as simple as that."

"Love isn't simple."

"You know this from experience?" Had Hermione had a lover? She hadn't had anyone besides Ron, as far as Draco could remember. He was sure thatRon's death didn't help anything for her.

"Yes, but we aren't talking about me... I'll cut straight to the chase–I believe that you are using him!" Hermione looked at him. With her eyes she dared him to lie to her.

"Oh yes Granger," he said sarcastically. "I'm going to make him fall drastically in love with me and lure him out of this 'safe' castle and straight to Voldemort. After Voldemort kills Harry, I'll be made second in command–even thought it's common knowledge that Voldemort uses his followers until they're dead or incapable of following him. You've found me out. I'm shocked," he ended in a monotone.

"Your sarcasm didn't do anything to convince me that you don't mean to hurt Harry," she said, unfazed.

"_Do_ I need to convince you?"

"Yes. Right now I'm what's standing between you and him. Which professor _wouldn't_ believe me if Itold themthat you two need to be kept away from each other?"

"Professors Snape, Lupin, McGonagall, and Dumbledore," he answered the rhetorical question. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know that?" Draco shrugged.

"How do you know that I mean Harry harm?" A question for a question. He had been trained for interrogation too well.

"You're a Malfoy," Hermione said as if it explained everything.

"So? Does that mean that I'm automatically evil? Does that make me any less capable of feeling love?" She didn't respond. "Granger, I've been alone my whole life–" She opened her mouth to speak. "No, let me finish. My parents are like walking statues, and my mother stopped hugging me when I was five. I haven't cried since I was six, and I'm not sure I remember how to. The first time I truly laughed was with Harry, before that I hadn't laughed. I've had manners, courtesy, threats, and how to act like a damned 'proper Malfoy'–" he moved his fingers in the air to gesture the quotations, "beaten into me for a very long time. It wasn't until I started talking to Harry did I have a real friend," As he paused to take a breath, Hermione spoke.

"Are you sure that you didn't mistake feelings of friendship for love?" Draco heard hurt and experience in her voice. He said nothing about it. He stared straight into her chocolate eyes.

"More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life." She looked hesitant to believe him. "I _am_ a good guy, Granger... I don't want to be a Death Eater." Her eyes widened.

"You–what!"

"I talked to my godfather(Snape) and Lupin, and they to Dumbledore. After school gets out, I'm joining the Order,"

"And Remus believes that you really want this?"

Draco nodded. "He does, even if it _is_ just because Severus told him to trust me... Deciding to switch sides earned me a lot. It was worth the proud look in Severus' eyes _alone_ to switch. Not to count the same look from Lupin, McGonagall, Dumbledore and Harry even!"

"I still don't believe you! This is so sudden–this 'change' in you. I don't buy it,"

"I've been questioning it for months,"

Hermione simply shook her head.

Draco looked down at the floor. This was a courtroom. And in front of him was a one-girl jury. His eyes tingled and his throat constricted. He didn't feel it. All he could think of was losing Harry. The thought of loss made his body ache.

"You can't keep him away from me... I don't know what I'd do without him," he looked up at her. Her eyes widened, but she said nothing. "You don't know what it's like to have stone-cold parents. Harry and Severus are all I have. And Severus has more important things to do than ensure my happiness. Sure, he cares about it, but it's not his main concern. If you take Harry away... I'll be alone. I don't want to be alone." She didn't comment on his little speech.

"I thought that you said you had forgotten how to cry," she said softly. Draco gave her an odd look.

"I _have_ forgotten how to cry,"

"Then what are those things trailing from your eyes?"

Draco wiped his cheeks. Salty tears coated his hands. He stared at them in near wonderment. "But I–I didn't even realize that I was doing it," he whispered to himself. He continued to ponder his tears silently. All the while, Hermione observed him.

"All right," she said abruptly. Draco almost jumped. He looked at her.

"All right?"

"I'll leave you two alone. But, if I suspect anything but the best intentions..." Draco nodded vigorously. He was overjoyed that she gave in. So much so that he sprung off of the desk and hugged her. He pulled back when he realized what he had done.

"Sorry..." he mumbled.

"It's all right," her eyes were now dancing with mirth.

"Thank you–for letting Harry and I stay together... I hope that you'll give me a chance to show you that I'm really a good guy,"

"I think you can have one chance. For Harry's sake. But one mistake..." she trailed off cryptically. Draco nodded again. He had to be on his best behavior from now on. Hermione turned to leave, but Draco stopped her.

"Granger!" she turned back around. "In public–in classes and such–I'll still have to keep up appearance. I want you to know that I don't mean what I say, and that I haven't for most of this term. And that I'm sorry for all the times I called you a Mudblood. You didn't deserve that,"

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means... And, I suppose, I'll help you 'keep up appearances' though I don't understand why you must..."

"My father'd kill me, or find someone else to, if he knew which side I'm on. And it gives them less time to plan without me. I've been trained since birth to be a Death Eater and they are one-hundred percent positive that I'm joining them. The longer we put off letting them find out, the better advantage we have,"

"All right, that makes sense... Bye Malfoy,"

"You may call me Draco, if you like," she nodded, but didn't say anything. He understood; she still didn't trust him. She wasn't ready to be on a first name basis. Draco didn't push it. "Good-bye Granger,"

The door shut quietly behind her and Draco was alone. But, not completely. He had managed to keep his and Harry's relationship safe for now. And his sanity intact. Even if Hermione only half-believed him, it was a start.

Draco walked over to the open window. There were a few students were enjoying the last minutes of the summer sun before it set for the night. The sun was shining an unearthly bright orange that seemed to make the room, and the grounds outside, glow.

Graduation would be soon.

They were already practicing the graduation ceremonies. At the end of the term he would have his chance to convince the Order that he is worth the chance to join. But with the end of the term comes the end of his life in the school. The end of the safety behind the powerful walls of Hogwarts.

Draco wasn't anxious to see that final day. Not in the least.

* * *

**A/n–** Harry does seem to cry a lot, doesn't he?

**Please Review!**

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	7. Tranquil

The morning of graduation day Draco was sitting up in one of the low branches of a large oak tree. The sun had just started rising and the day was already comfortably warm. His graduation robes were pressed, hanging neatly in his empty closet. Everything he had brought to Hogwarts was packed in his trunk, which was waiting to be brought to the train the next morning.

When he had first come out here, the chipper chirping of the birds that surrounded him was a comfort. Now it was just annoying. He swung his legs childishly. He had developed a bad habit of doing that...

In two days time he wouldbe at the Order headquarters (wherever that was) and they would be deciding his future, more or less. If he didn't get in it... he wasn't sure what he'd do.

Draco looked down at the sound of footsteps. Neville Longbottom was walking toward him. Draco was sure that the other boy hadn't seen him yet. He didn't want to spook Neville, so he waited until Neville had spotted him to speak.

"Good morning, Longbottom," he said merrily. His legs were still swinging.

"'Morning Malfoy," he looked shocked at Draco's friendliness. "I wouldn't have come if I had know that this spot was taken," he mumbled. His hands were in his jean pockets. He, like Draco, wasn't wearing his school robes. Draco shrugged.

"I don't mind sharing, if you don't. There's plenty of room in this old tree," Neville looked at him. Draco waited calmly for Neville to make his decision. Abruptly, he nodded.

"All right," he climbed up onto the branch next to Draco. They sat in a comfortable silence. The sun was turning the horizon pale orange and pink. Draco shielded his eyes with his hand.

"Why are you out here?" Draco made sure to sound genuinely curious, not rude.

"Gryffindor Tower is too busy for me. Girls rushing around, bustling about their hair and clothes. Some of the guys are as bad, if not worse, than the girls! And Harry and Hermione are going back memory-lane about all the times they spent with Ron,"

"So, they're feeling well enough to talk about him now?" Neville made an affirmative noise. He continued after a moment.

"I was completely ready to go by last night, and was really just getting in the way. I had to get out of there,"

Draco nodded. "I wanted to remember Hogwarts like this," he said in response to the unasked question.

"With a million chirping birds making a racket?" Neville asked. Draco could hear thick sarcasm in his voice. He had to admit, the boy had gotten some guts over the years. Draco laughed.

"No, peaceful. With no other people to be loud and ruin it. Peaceful before all the death and destruction of the war,"

"I–" Neville started over in a quieter voice, "I heard that you plan to switch sides,"

"I do... And, no offense, but who told you? It was supposed to be a secret!"

"Harry told me last night. I plan to join the Order and he wanted me to know ahead of time," Draco nodded. He was relieved. He had thought for a moment that his secret had gotten out.

"That sounds like him," Neville chuckled lightly. "... Do you believe that I really want this?" Draco asked. His legs stopped swinging as he looked a Neville intently. Neville was staring at the bright sunrise as if it would tell him the answer. In the back of his mind, Draco wondered how he could stare into the sun like that.

"Well..." he started thoughtfully, "You have been different today. And you haven't been as rude lately..." Neville looked at him. He didn't even blink to adjust his eyes back to the dimmer light. "I can honestly say that I don't know which side I think you're on." Neville looked back at the sun. "For as long as I can remember, you've wanted to be a Death Eater... Everything's changing now. We're all graduating and leaving our safe haven and our opinions of each other are staying here,"

"Not everyone's opinions will remain in the past, you know. There will still be Slytherins who'll look at you and scowl... As well as Hufflepuffs who'll see me and run,"

"I feel sorry for them," Neville said after a few minutes silence.

"Who?"

"Those people who won't be able to drop their silly childhood prejudices... I think it's a good thing you've been able to drop yours before it was too late,"

"Yeah, well, I had help,"

"You bet your arse he did!" Draco looked down below him at the sound of the voice. He laughed.

"'Morning Harry!" Neville repeated the greeting. Harry mumbled a 'good morning' as he climbed onto the branch. He seated himself on Draco's other side.

"Tsk, tsk, Harry, swearing and all. What would my mother say?" Ginny Weasley was climbing up into another sturdy branch a little higher than Draco's. Hermione was right behind her.

"Well, your mum'd probably whack me with a towel,"a smile graced Harry's lips as he said this.

He slipped his hand into Draco's and gave it a squeeze. Draco watched Hermione sit on Ginny's branch against the tree trunk. Ginny settled her back against Hermione's front. They stared at the almost risen sun. Hermione kissed the back of Ginny's head and intertwined their fingers.

"Yes, they're together," Harry whispered in his ear. Draco ignored the chills of delight that went up his spine. He nodded, and they all fell into a contented silence. Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco let his cheek lay against Harry's black hair.

* * *

Each student was dressed in a plain black robe. A small Hogwarts crest was on the right breast side. The hats were traditional, muggle-looking caps. The tassle that hung off of each was the same: two threads of silver, green, black, yellow, gold, red, bronze, and blue. 

Draco was in line behind Neville. Behind him was Artemis Moon(1). Their parents were in seats around them. Someone's mom was already in tears of joy. Neville was stumbling a little. Draco watched him trip. Neville almost ran into Hermione but Draco held onto a bunch of his robes to steady him. He avoided a 'domino effect.'

"Thank you," Neville said it in a hushed whisper. They had sat down now.

"Don't mention it Longbottom," Draco said in the same tone of voice.

"Call me Neville,"

"Only if you call me Draco,"

"Alright." They had the conversation without looking at each other.

Draco scanned the people seated on all sides of him. His mother was sitting on his left, in the front. Severus was on the stage next to McGonagall, Remus on his other side.

As he looked around, Draco realized something. The muggles were seated on the right. The wizards and witches were on the left. A few witches and wizards were scattered amongst the muggles. Even the adults had segregated themselves! Hermione was at the opposite end of the row in front of him. A diagonal look backwards and he found Harry. One row back, two people over from him. Harry gave him a nervous smile. Draco returned it. The whispering between parents, professors and students had grown into talking at this point. Dumbledore stepped up to the podium, singled in the middle of the stage. A respectful silence fell over them.

Draco's nerves chose now to take control. His stomach cramped up. He couldn't breathe well. He zoned out during Dumbledore's speech. One by one, the students went up to accept their awards. He watched Neville stumble up to accept his award. Hewaited behind Hermione for his. He scanned the students nervously. Draco smiled at him. Neville looked less nervous. He accepted his certificate without any problems.

Draco stiffly shook hands with his professors. His relief was minimal when he sat back down. He still had to do his speech with Hermione. Step onein showing the world his change.

"...I'd like you all to welcome our Head Girl, Hermione Granger, and our Head Boy, Draco Malfoy. They will be delivering their speeches now,"

Hermione and Draco walked to the podium amid clapping (and cheering from their friends). Hermione set the papers onto the podium. She sighed and started.

"Thank you for that," she said with a smile. She looked down at the papers and went into 'Head Girl Mode.' "While most of the parents, professors and older siblings present today are used to a separate speech from both the Head Girl and Head Boy, Draco and I have done something different this year–"

"And don't worry, professor McGonagall, we didn't add anything that'll surprise you. We only added things intended to bring us back through memories, remember those we have lost, and maybe get a few of you to think,"

"We have combined our speeches into one, as I think you've all caught onto by now," she continued as if Draco hadn't added something. "Our seven years together in this sturdy (and slightly drafty) castle have been exciting–"

"But, keep in mind that exciting doesn't always mean good," Draco read Hermione's tight handwriting. "Exciting is the adjective form of excite, which means 'to bring forth a reaction or emotion, and to arouse a strong feeling in.' Take our first year for example. On top of making new friends and learning new things, we had a mountain troll in the castle, our first first-year seeker in over a century--" (Harry looked away) "--and the sorcerer's stone right under our noses the whole year."

"Second year the Chamber of Secrets was opened. I'm sure you can all recall what that was like. A group of twelve-year-olds having to question their new friendships. Not to mention that the school almost closed and many muggle-borns attacked."

"Before our third year began, the late Sirius Black escaped Azkaban. No one had before him and no one has since. So, to protect the students, we had dementors stationed outside Hogwarts' doors, as well as patrolling Hogsmeade. Who could forget that our third year marked our first admittance into Hogsmeade, and new classes that shaped our futures?"

"In fourth year our school was opened to the fine academes of Dumrstang and Beaubaxtons for the Triwizard Tournament. We were allowed to watch the tasks set for our four champions. But at the last task one of our champions was lost to us. While those of us who weren't in Hufflepuff didn't know Cedric Diggory as well, I'm sure that we can all agree that he was a good young man who didn't deserve to die at such a young age. The end of this year marked the unofficial return of Voldemort,"

Shudders ran throughout the crowd when Hermione said the name. Draco waited until they had stopped before continuing.

"Fifth year was a bit stricter than the rest. The Ministry sent a teacher to make sure that we were being taught according to Ministry law. So formed the Inquisitory Squad and Dumbledore's army. And the official return of Voldemort,"

More shudders. Draco fought the urge to smirk at them.

"Sixth year many families were attacked. None survived. Last year we lost two fine members of our year: Dean Thomas and Mandy Brocklehurst. They were great people who, like Cedric, didn't deserve their fate. The Ministry of Magic was invaded, and destroyed a year ago yesterday."

"This year hasn't been as exciting as the others. Most activity has been drawn out to into a calm. Except on Christmas, when we lost Ron Weasley–"

Hermione interrupted Draco with a shaky sigh. She was looking straight at the paper. Draco placed a comforting hand on her arm. He looked at her in concern.

All attention in the room was drawn to a woman sitting in front. She stood abruptly and walked toward the doors. Her heels clicked loudly on the stone floors. The sound echoed off the walls. While a few muggle parents were still confused on who the woman was, her pale blonde hair left little room for guesses. The doors slammed loudly behind her. Draco bowed his head solemnly. If that was how his mother wished to leave him, it was fine by him. He continued their speech as if nothing had happened.

"To Mandy, Dean, and Ron: You will be missed."

Hermione paused before speaking. A few girls (as well as boys) had tears in their eyes. The Weasley's, Thomas's and Brocklehurst's had been invited and were worked up as well. Hermione sighed again, and spoke.

"We'd like to point out one more thing before we end this speech. As I'm sure some of you have noticed, the graduation robes for this year are different. They are plain black instead of our house colors. Why, if you didn't know which house Draco and I were in, you wouldn't be able to tell right now,"

"And that was the point. We didn't want to have that separation. So we convinced the heads of each house and the headmaster to let us change the robes. Because when we leave here, our houses won't matter. Theses silly school prejudices we've developed over the years won't pass as an excuse when your boss asks you why you refuse to help the girl up front,"

"So if you pay attention to nothing else today, listen to this. We encourage you to use today to make amends with each other. Make a new friend from another house, you may thank us later."

Hermione and Draco exited the stage. Their audience clapped politely. Harry looked at Draco worriedly as he walked to his chair. Draco gave him a small smile. Just the turn of the corners of his lips. Harry was the only one who noticed it.

* * *

**A/n– **I wasn't sure whether to put in the whole speech, but I figured that since I had written it that I should go ahead and add it. Hope it wasn't too boring!

(1)- 'Artemis' is the Greek goddess of the moon (and other things). 'Moon' is an actual last name for someone in Harry and Draco's year (see book one; the sorting), but I haven't found a first name for that person, which house they're in, or if it's even a male of female character. For this story, it's a girl and she's in Ravenclaw. Not that it matters.

**Please Review!  
**

Note: Edited on 12/20/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	8. Nirvana

They filed into the Great Hall for their last dinner. The younger students were already seated. There was another table next to the head table which accommodated the parents of the graduating students. The parents were to remain until the dance later, when they would leave and let their kids have their last 'free' day alone. As they seated themselves, the other professors and students clapped for them

Draco settled himself between Blaise Zabini and Vincent Crabbe. Across from them sat Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode. The other graduating students were seated around them.

Draco tuned out Dumbledore's speech as he always did. He knew what the man would be saying; 'We need to unite as one, strong castle. Not four separate, and weaker, houses.' More or less the same things that he and Hermione had said earlier. And just because he agreed now didn't mean that he wanted to listen to the old man jabber away. His attention was, however, drawn back in at the end. As it always was.

"...and now to award the House Cup!" Dumbledore was quiet (and laughing quietly) as the students clapped. "The House Cup goes this year to the noble Hufflepuffs!"

It was the first time in overtwenty years that they had won and cheering like mad was not lost on them. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws clapped heartily for them. The Slytherins didn't move. Draco watched a first year start clapping. Her friends stopped her. She looked down, embarrassed, with a red face.

_Change isn't always bad..._

Draco started clapping as loud as he could.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm stuffing a turkey, Blaise, what does it look like to you?" he smiled at Millicent when she joined him. Pansy looked morally offended. Vincent and Gregory joined him. The first year started clapping again, with a smirk at her friends.

Slowly, the Slytherin table was filled with clapping. The students from other houses were standing to congratulate the Hufflepuffs. Draco decided to see how much of an influence he had on the other students in his house. He stood up. Millicent did the same shortly after. Vincent and Greg stood. The Slytherins were standing with all the other students. Draco flashed Severus a confidant smile. Dumbledore winked at him.

Dumbledore calmed everyone down, and motioned for them to be seated. He finished his speech, and with a clap of his hands, food was served.

"Did any of you buy any of that crap the old man said this year?" Pansy asked. It was common Slytherin ritual, to make fun of Dumbledore after his End of the Year speech. Blaise was about to say something, but Draco talked over him.

"I actually thought that he had a good point," Draco said conversationally. Millicent was the only one not staring at him in shock. Her's was more a look of recognition and admiration.

"You do," Blaise's tone was dry and skeptical.

"Yes... Or did you all think that I didn't mean what Granger and I put in our speech this afternoon?"

"We thought you were doing it to suck up to Dumbledore,"

"No, I wasn't. I'm not the kind of person to say something I don't mean," he had stopped eating, as had his fellow seventh years. A few sixth years were watching intently as well. That was perfect. If Draco couldn't get people from his year to switch, he still had a chance with the younger years.

"So you agree with that mudblood and her muggle-loving friends?"

"No," Pansy looked smug. He continued louder. "I agree with Hermione and Harry that muggle-borns aren't a lesser kind of person than us." The fifth years were quiet. Some Ravenclaws were staring at him, nudging their friends to look his way.

"You call them by their first names?" Vincent asked.

"Yes, I do. They're people too you know." There was silence. Most of the Ravenclaws were looking at him. A Hufflepuff or three were turned in their seats to see.

"Have you switched sides Draco?" Millicent asked quietly. Draco looked straight in her hazel eyes.

"I have," she looked at him for a moment–and then smiled!

"Good for you,"

"Oh, I do not believe this!" Draco and Millicent looked at Pansy. The whole hall was silent now. None of them noticed.

"You don't believe what? That I want to be a good person?"

"No, that you'd betray your family like this!" When had he, Pansy, and Millicent jumped to their feet?

"I'd rather have no family than the deaths of innocent people over my head!"

"You're such a little traitor Draco!" Shouts of agreement were heard randomly down the Slytherin table. Pansy shot Draco another smug look. Severus was trying to quiet them down from his seat. He was ignored.

"So valuing people's lives makes you a traitor?"

"If you go against your beliefs and the people who raised you!"

Pansy was getting the younger Slytherins hyped up. They were yelling out agreements to what she had said. Millicent looked frightened. A fifth year threw a spoonful of gravy at Draco, which started an odd food fight; all the food was flying at Millicent and Draco.

Draco sighed as his graduation robes were soiled with food. He stood still and let it happen. Millicent tried to hide. Draco took out his wand and everyone stopped. The professors sat still, and the Hall was hushed with a baited breath. They thought that he would hurt the other people!

He sighed again and cleaned himself off with a wave of his wand. He turned his wand on Millicent and cleaned her off also. She mouthed 'thank you.' He nodded and walked out of the Great Hall without another word.

He climbed up a few stairs on the staircase to the second floor, then sunk down onto it. He rested his head against one rail, bent his knees on the stair. Draco sat, lost in thought, until Remus sat on the stair below his. The older man imitated his position.

"I know what you thought you could do,"

"Not could, professor, can. I can do it!"

"Remus–please–we'll be working together soon–"

"If I get in,"

"You will. You've got good people supporting you. Severus, Dumbledore, Neville, Hermione, Harry and I. We'll all account for you. While my word may not count for much in the general wizarding world, it does count for something in the Order,"

Draco sighed and nodded. "Thank you for trusting me... Truthfully, I'm surprised so many people do,"

"Do the Slytherins trust you?"

"They did... After that stunt I pulled in there, I really don't know what they think of me... But you saw what happened! You saw how I got them to clap and stand for the Hufflepuffs! And you saw how Pansy got them to go against Millicent and I! All they need is someone to follow! They're desperate for someone to follow! If I can only get them to listen to _me_, to _my_ ideas!"

"How did you change your mind? What made you start thinking differently?"

"... My father being sent to Azkaban... And talking to Harry... seeing how he reacted to Ron Weasley's death. I just knew that I didn't want to cause that; making people feel pain..."

"Figure out what the other Slytherins need; what they're thinking. What their opinions are about their parents and Voldemort, and the whole 'pureblood prejudice.' You could convince them to join us... But it won't be easy,"

"But it'll be worth it, won't it?"

"If you can get them away from Voldemort and on our side, yes,"

Draco remembered something. Millicent had helped him. She supported him. Why hadn't he seen it in her before? "When did Millicent switch?"

"After that day in the Department of Mysteries... Actually, she's engaged to Terry Boot now,"

That was good news. She was a smart girl, she got out of the mess that the rest of them were still knee-deep in. Draco was going to relay those thoughts to Remus, but their conversation was cut short when the doors to the Great Hall opened. Students spilled out into the hall, followed by the professors and parents. Slowly, the group thinned out, and they were alone again.

"You should go get ready for the dance," Remus suggested. Draco couldn't see how he was ever against the calm-mannered werewolf. The man cared for almost everyone.

"Yeah, I should. I'll see you later, pro–Remus!" Remus smiled at Draco's mistake. He started to his office. Draco went into the dungeons.

* * *

When Draco reached the room designated to be their dance room, few tables on the sides of the room weren't taken by parents. He chose a large booth in one of the corners of the room,surprised that it was left open. 

The decorations were nothing fancy. Hermione and Draco had requested that they weren't seated by house. Dumbledore had taken that request into consideration when he helped the other professors decorate. He had actually liked the idea himself. The tables were colored in blue, red, green, and yellow colored tablecloths that matched the upholstery in the padded booths. Streamers of those four colors were randomly strung from everything overhead.

Draco scanned the people who walked in for his new friends. Pansy... Padma Patil... Vincent... Remus... Trelawney? _So the old bug does come out every once in a while_, he thought. He snickered at his own joke. Susan Bones... Harry!

Draco locked eyes with him. Harry looked down and kept walking. He was beginning to believe that Harry wasn't ready to tell people about them. As if changing his mind, Harry walked pointedly toward Draco. He sat next to him in the booth.

"I was starting to think you didn't want to go through with this,"

A guilty sigh. "I almost didn't. But there's no better time than now,"

"It's going to be hard you know,"

"I know. But if they don't accept it, well, that just shows that they didn't really care about me in the first place," Draco admired Harry for taking that opinion. Harry held onto his hand with a smile. They talked through the first song. Late students were arriving in groups.

"Mind if we sit here?"

They looked up. A flushed Millicent and Terry stood hand-in-hand in front of them.

"Not at all," Harry said right away. He looked at Draco.

"I don't mind,"

"Thanks! There's almost no seats left!" Terry slid into the booth behind Millicent. Three fast songs later, Hermione and Ginny climbed in next to Terry.

"Having fun?" Harry asked rhetorically. They watched Ginny down a glass of water.

"This is great!"

Hermione simply laughed at her excitement. Neville and Susan Bones moved everyone over and sat opposite Harry and Draco. Millicent and Terry were so close that Millicent was almost on Terry's lap. Neville had his arm around Susan's shoulders.

No sooner had they sat down, the music stopped. One of the musicians stepped forward.

"This will be our first slow song. Feel free to dance with anyone of your choice. Your mom or dad, older (or younger) siblings, best friend, favorite professor, or that special someone! After this song we'll kick the adults out and party!" she winked at them playfully. The band gave them time to find a partner.

Terry, Millicent, Susan and Neville were out of the booth almost instantly.

"This should be our time," Draco mumbled.

"Now?" Harry looked at him. Ginny asked them what they were doing. They didn't hear her.

"When would be better? We have everyone in our year, their relatives and reporters here. If we want the world to know, we're not going to get a better chance,"

"We should dance also," Harry and Draco heard Hermione that time. They looked over at her.

"Why would you?"

Hermione shrugged. "People will know about us,"

"And the spotlight will be on you!" Ginny had an innocent smile on her face. The girl had a lot of life in her. Draco wondered how she got together with Hermione.

Harry laughed, "They're just going to use this to their advantage!" Draco chuckled with him.

Harry took a deep breath and stood. He held his hand out. As if on cue, the music started. Draco took the outstretched hand silently. He followed Harry onto the dance floor. He felt, more than saw, Hermione and Ginny following them. Harry put his arms up around Draco's neck. Draco wove his arms around Harry's waist. He looked over Harry's shoulder as they moved with the music.

_Lying here with you  
__Listening to the rain  
__Smiling just to see the smile upon your face  
__  
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
__These are the moments I'll remember all my life  
__I found all I've waited for  
__And I could not ask for more_

"Severus and Remus are dancing," Draco whispered.

"So are Seamus and Justin Finch-Fletchy,"

Harry's warm breath trickled over his ear. Draco was almost sad that they were at this party. They could be alone in his rooms. But he enjoyed any time he could get with Harry. A flash went off. Draco started to sing along to the song quietly.

"_Looking in your eyes  
Seeing all I need  
Everything you are is everything to me _

These are the moments  
I know heaven must exist  
These are the moments I know all I need is this I have all I've waited for  
_And I could not ask for more_,"

Harry started to sing softly in his ear. Draco looked over at Ginny and Hermione. Ginny smiled at him. She looked delighted to be allowed to show public affection. Draco pulled Harry closer.

"_I could not ask for more than this time together  
__I could not ask for more than this time with you  
__  
Every prayer has been answered  
__Every dream I have's come true  
__And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be  
__Here with you here with me..._"

"People are staring," Harry whispered.

"I know. Don't look at them."

Draco kissed the shell of Harry's ear. Harry let out a small, happy sigh. Another flash went off. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were torn between staring at them, Hermione and Ginny, or Remus and Severus. They seemed out of place. Draco picked up his singing again.

"_These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
These are the moments I'll remember all my life  
I've got all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more _

I could not ask for more than this time together  
I could not ask for more than this time with you  
Every prayer has been answered  
Every dream I have's come true

And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be  
Here with you here with me  
I could not ask for more than the love you give me  
'Cause it's all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more  
I could not ask for more..."

They danced out the rest of the music. Draco pulled away a little. He looked into Harry's half-closed eyes. On an impulse, Draco kissed him. Nothing too much, for those people who felt nauseous when they saw two guys kiss. When he ended the kiss he led Harry back to their booth.

They had done it. Shown everyone. Now it was their time to cower while people made up their minds about what to think.

* * *

**Please Review!**

Note: Edited on 12/20/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


	9. Outcome

Draco didn't know what time he woke the next morning. His nerves were in bunches in his stomach. He jumped out of his bed, upsetting Asa, who complained with a half-asleep disgruntled hiss. He ran straight to his bathroom and threw up the little dinner he had managed to eat the night before. He sunk against the cool tiles of the floor and wall. Once he had calmed himself down, Draco took a shower and brushed his teeth. He changed his clothes into something that didn't show off his past money too much. He skipped breakfast and walked to the Hogsmeade station alone.

Normally they had carriages to take the students to the train, but it was so early that they weren't even waiting yet. The sun hadn't risen. It was the perfect temperature of an early summer morning. The kind where you could tell that it would be a blistering day. The kind of morning that seemed to say 'enjoy me now, because you'll be wishing for the cold later!'

He walked through the empty train. It was spooky and abandoned looking. He chose a compartment in the middle of the train. He pulled a muggle play-booktitled _Inherit The Wind_ from his over-shirt pocket. He began to read to waste the extra time.

Draco was over halfway through the book when loud voices started drifting through the hall. He couldn't concentrate on the book anymore, so he set it on the seat. He pulled his knees against his chest and rested his chin on them. His arms were wrapped tightly around his calves and thighs.

He looked out the window without seeing anything. His thoughts were too frantic for him to see straight. He was busy imagining what could happen once he reached the Order's headquarters. They could turn him down the minute he walked in. Harry could turn around and tell him that it was all a joke. They could turn him into the Ministry. The members could be convinced that he was still a Death Eater wannabe and that Voldemort needed a spy.

Or, they could be so desperate for people that they accepted him without question. But, there were six people from their year trying to join. And Millicent had been on the side of Light for almost two years. It seemed that if the Order was to drop one of them, it would be him. Draco's nerves wouldn't let him be optimistic this morning.

The compartment door opened. Draco's thoughts stopped at the sound of quick, female talking.

"... it's already hotter than hell out there!" The door closed. Ginny, Hermione, and Neville had come in. Hermione's eyes were red. Neville looked annoyed. Ginny was the one talking.

"Hello Draco!" she said happily. Once again, too perky for this time of morning. She turned back to Hermione and continued her hasty talking. "I'm glad that we'll be out of that castle for today... But can you imagine the heat at headquarters..."

Draco tuned her out when Neville mumbled in his ear. "She's been going non-stop since I found them in the common room. She's trying to take Hermione's mind off of the fact that this is our final day at school, and that Ron should be here,"

"Seems that Hermione has tuned her out," Draco mumbled back.

"Long before we got here,"

Draco laughed. Ginny stopped talking when the door opened. Terry looked around the compartment.

"Have any of you seen Millicent?" Draco shook his head. Ginny said no. "Do you mind if I sit in here? She'll probably come by here," They told him that they didn't mind, and he took the seat on Hermione's other side.

The train had started and Harry and Millicent were still absent. Susan had come in and was busy snogging Neville. Draco was looking out the window, lost in his pessimistic thoughts. Terry was helping Ginny distract Hermione. Probably to distract himself from his missing fiancée.

They door opened and all attention was drawn to it. They could see half of Millicent standing in the door way. She was ushering someone into the compartment.

"Hurry up, get in here!" Harry ran in, and leaned against the wall. Millicent closed the door behind them.

"Thank God," Harry mumbled. He was flushed from running. He had a black eye and finger marks on his arms. Millicent looked a little flustered, but was otherwise unharmed.

"Harry! What happened?" Hermione was on her feet. Her fingers were gingerly touching his eye. He swatted her hands away. He sunk into the spot between Neville and Draco. Hermione reluctantly took her seat again. Millicent pulled a newspaper out of her pocket and handed it to Hermione. The paper was passed around the compartment, until Draco got to see it. They watched him anxiously as he looked at it.

On the very front of the paper was a picture of Draco and Harry dancing. Draco could see his lips moving to form the words of the song. Bold letters atop the page said 'The Boy-Who-Lived Finds Love!' The article itself wasn't that bad. Draco quite liked the author's opinions. She was very open- minded. He checked her name, _Penelope Wood_, before he closed the paper. He looked at Millicent to explain.

"I was trying to find you Draco, I wanted to talk to you about what you plan to do if you get in the Order. I thought that I may be able to help, counseling the Slytherins that are still in school and all. I was walking through the Slytherin car when I found Harry. He was also looking for you, so we started to walk together. We were about to enter the Hufflepuff car when the other Slytherins from our year cornered Harry and I. They started calling me a traitor, and insulting Harry because you two are dating... Harry stood up for me, which is how he got that black eye. I hexed Vincent and Greg, who were holding Harry, and we ran. We got kicked out of the Hufflepuff compartment we tried to hide in when we were followed into it. I opened the door to this one and, luckily, we found you guys," Terry now had Millicent sitting in his lap. He was smoothing her hair with his free hand. Harry had his head rested on Draco's shoulder and hadn't talked since the words he had mumbled when he had first come in.

"And where did you find the Prophet?" Hermione asked Millicent.

"Pansy had it. She was quoting it... and then..." she looked at Harry oddly. She didn't say anymore.

"Then Nott tried to pull me into the other room," Harry started softly, "he said that if I liked guys so much that I should enjoy what he had in store for me,"

Draco felt his anger rise. How dare they do that to Harry! It didn't matter to him that Avery didn't finish the deed; he tried and that was all that counted. Draco tried to leave, to find the offending Slytherins, but Harry wouldn't let him.

It was about time for them to leave the trainnow. They had spent the rest of the ride talking, as well as playing card games. Hermione, Terry, Ginny and Susan were lazily playing a word game. Harry had fallen asleep in Draco's lap. Draco was reading his book again. Neville and Millicent were discussing what they thought they needed to know to get into the Order. Half of Draco's attention was on their conversation.

Too soon for any of them, the train slowed to a stop. Draco woke Harry gently and told him that they were there. The group of them stretched lazily as they stood. They collected all their items and walked off the train together. As they walked to the people who were meeting them from the Order, they walked in a tight group. Draco has his arm around Harry's shoulders. Hermione was holding tightly to Ginny's hand. They knew the meaning of the phrase 'safety in numbers.'

Since Remus had moved all their belongings to the headquarters already, the only things that they had to carry were their clothes from the night before, anything they had carried with them and their pets. They had shrunk their clothes to fit into a knapsack Hermione had brought along. Hedwig was in her cage, suspended from Harry's hand. Asa was in a wicker carrier that hung from Draco's opposite hand. Crookshanks was sleeping in his basket that hung from Hermione's hand. Terry was carrying Millicent's barn owl, Hecate. Ginny had Ron's old owl Pig in a small cage.

Before them stood Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Severus, a man Draco recognized from his fourth year, Mad-Eye Moody, a tall black man that Draco didn't know who was standing next to a woman with olive colored skin and long black hair that shone red in the sun, also whom Draco didn't know.

Draco, Millicent, Terry and Susan stood silently while Hermione, Harry, Ginny and Neville were greeted by the adults. Mrs. Weasley fussed over Harry's eye. Draco gave Severus a small smile. He was surprised when it was returned. Remus walked up to him and whispered in his ear.

"I'm proud of you and Harry. It took guts to do that yesterday. Guts that Severus doesn't have," Remus winked at Draco before he went to take up his guardian position again. Draco grinned wickedly.

The humor didn't last long. The nerves that had presented themselves throughout the past two days were now in overdrive. His hands were shaking. Harry gripped his hand tightly. Draco looked into his trusting green eyes.

"You'll be fine Draco," he whispered.

The large group walked out of the barrier into the muggle train station.

* * *

**A/n–**Is continued in the fic"Athazagoraphobia." That phobia is the fear of forgetting things, or being forgotten.

The book "Inherit The Wind" is an actual play/book. It is by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. Many thanks to all my wonderful reviewers:

Me Touya Koori Tenshi (_Thank you for all of your reviews! I think you reviewed the most!_), William the Bloody, Quicksilver, Little Lion, eminem4eva, Lyonessheart (_I agree, the trouble with Hogwarts is that they separate them all into houses!_), The Marauders Dragon (_I made you cry... is that good or bad? Anyway, I like your reviews. They're long and give nice feedback. Although I'm really not picky about my reviews... As long as people take the time to drop one on their way out_ ), Yuki Kurai snuffles (_I'm glad you think my title fits! I like that song also. I heard it on the radio and thought 'Harry and Draco!'_)

**Please Review!**

Note: Edited on 12/20/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

_:-:silver-sunn101:-:_


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